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Sunday, July 10, 2005

All-Star Baseball

The all-star game of our national pastime is steadily approaching and this year's event welcomes a number of talented new faces among the crowd. Yet these youngbloods take up roster spaces, and thus there are some perennial favorites that will be absent from this year's festivities. Pretending that I somehow have baseball credibility beyond winning my Yahoo Fantasy League last year, I am going to weigh in on who I believe was snubbed from the All-Star Team and which players undeservedly landed roster spots.

Top 3 All-Star Snubs

Todd Helton, Colorado Rockies - I picked Helton as a top snub merely because each team is required to send at least one player to the All-Star Game (even the lowly Rockies). Granted he's having a terrible year by anybody's standards, but who wants to go to the All-Star game to see Brian Fuentes? Who the hell is Brian Fuentes anyway? He sounds like he should be a member of a boy band rather than an all-star.

2. Wily Mo Peña, Cincinnati Reds - My reason for picking Wily is pretty much because his name is fun to say. He's definitley one of those guys you would refer to by stating his full name 3 times in a row as fast as you can. But seriously, his statistics are better than Shea Hillenbrand's who is not even the Toronto Blue Jays' mandatory all-star delegate. Plus, I learned how to put that squiggly crap on the n in Peña while writing about him.

3. Ricky Henderson, San Diego Surf Dawgs - He may not even be in the major leagues, but anybody who refers to themselves in the third person is an all-star in my book.

Top 3 Worst All-Star Selections

1. Kenny Rogers, Texas Rangers - Yes, Mr. Rogers is having the year of his life and probably deserves to be on the all-star team based on statistics alone. But this guy is nuts. In short, he recently attacked a cameraman simply for filming him while stretching before a game. You can check out the link to hear the whole story. Plus in general he is just a washed-up hick who is a few racist comments away from becoming the next John Rocker. On a more serious note, I feel that if a black player had pulled the same stunt, there'd be a lot more uproar over this. Perhaps enough uproar to rescind a spot on the all-star team. I'm hoping that Carl Everett helps me prove this point one day.

2. Ichiro Suzuki, Seattle Mariners - Ichiro's numbers aren't horrible but as an outfielder, the talent pool is too deep to justify him being on the team. My only consolation is that he's not a starter as Japanese voters only spent 23 hours online each day voting for him this year.

3. Derek Jeter, New York Yankees - Once again the media favorite somehow found his way onto the All-StarTeam. Wait...Derek Jeter didn't make the All-Star team? Wow. I guess fans started to realize that all those opinion pieces on why Jeter has the "intangibles" that make him such a great player are a load of crap. Now if only Xhibit signs with MTV for another 8 years of Pimp My Ride my life will be complete.