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Friday, July 15, 2005

Longs. Worst Wingman Ever.

Today, I officially declare my hatred for the Longs Drugstore franchise. Let me explain. This morning I decided to go buy some deodorant since I had ran out two weeks ago and was using Febreeze on my underarms to mask the offensive smell. So I was casually strolling down the hygiene aisle deciding if it was worth it to pay an extra dollar for Right Guard's odor-fighting power capsules that I think are really just misplaced green sprinkles. Suddenly I ran into one of Long's little signs they put up near sale items saying "Need it?" which I used to kind of appreciate. Typically I'd be walking down an aisle and would see "Need it?" next to a bar of soap and I'd usually go, "Hmm. Yes, I do need some soap. Some soap would be quite nice". So as an unemployed 21-year old male who can barely operate a microwave, I was grateful for the friendly reminder that I did need amenities like shampoo and contact solution. However, today the line was crossed. After passing the deodorants I looked up and saw a "Need it?" sign pointing to a box of condoms. Well as someone who never has sex, I was a little angry about this sign. Not only did that smug little sign remind me that I am not getting any, it also made me buy an extra box of kleenex and a bottle of Jergens. Simply, I feel that such a sign simply mocks the customer and provides an overall unenjoyable shopping experience. Unless of course I did need those condoms. Then I surely would've given that little grey sign a high five. I may have even bought it a beer.