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Thursday, September 01, 2005

Apartment H. Secretive Den of Sin.

You thought the Roosevelt Hotel was the hottest, most exclusive party desitnationin California? Think again. The most secretive night spot is an hour south, at UC San Diego's graduate student housing complex in beautiful La Jolla. Building 3927, Apartment H, to be exact. While dozens of industry-types shuffle past Amanda Scheer Demme's velvet rope each evening at the Tropicana Bar, be assured that Apartment H is so exclusive that no one--spare its two residents (who are such captains of the entertainment industry their apartment is subsidized by the state of California) have passed through its circa 1974 door for the past 12 months. That's right--Bruckheimer, Cruise, Weinstein--none of them made it into the taupe walled, shag carpeted nirvana that is Apartment H.

Entertainment rags--from Defamer.com to Variety--have speculated as to the decadence and debaucher that unfolds inside Apartment H. The paparazzi occassionally catch a whiff of Tandoori Chicken being cooked by the 30 year old Indian Computer Science candidate who is rumored to inhabit Room 2 of Apartment H. Yet those who have entered Apartment H keep to the code of silence they take upon first entering, for fear of angering its tenants and never again being offered access. It is widely rumored Bradgelina genetically engineered their most recent Etheopian love child in Apartment H, yet when questioned as to the voracity of this claim the couple responded, "The first rule of Apartment H is don't talk about Apartment H".

Whether Apartment H will go the way of La Esquina, with NY Times articles and even the most common of tourists from Des Moines allowed access, remains to be seen. What is for certain, however, is although Kirsten Dunst may be allowed to leap fully clothed into the Roosevelt's pool, she has yet to be granted access to Apartment H.